It's ok to not have a plan
I really love trying to find lessons and synchronicities in everyday life. Even the most seemingly uncomfortable and irritating situation can lead to learning experiences and epiphanies – in fact, they are the most fertile ground. And I can think of nothing more irritating and uncomfortable than a bad date. I’ve had a few, but a few weeks ago, I came home from the worst one on record, plopped down on the couch and laughed and laughed.
Here’s how it went: After arriving late, he proceeded to launch into a diatribe about how he hates his parents, why he won’t admit that his own brother is gay, and that he lived with his mother until his late 30s. All red flags, really. But it gets worse. Before the appetizers arrived, he had started planning out our lives together. Everything from what we would do the next weekend, to where we would have dinner the next night, how long we were going to date before we got married, where we would live, and when we would retire. By the time the check arrived, he had decided that I would likely need to give up my cats since he was allergic. Whoa. Seriously? So I did what any self-respecting girl would do: I ran for it.
In the calm and sanity of my cat-infested living room, I debriefed. Why was planning so patently ludicrous and down-right frightening to me? Well, probably because I don’t really do it. Planning out every nuance is exhausting and completely unnecessary. That’s not say I don’t have goals; I do – lots of them. But I can’t plan the minutiae of how they will manifest. I can only work hard, follow my passions and live in the moment trusting that the future will be absolutely perfect. Sometimes I get a little uptight about what’s coming, especially when it’s an outcome or a relationship that I’m particularly interested in. But if I waste time obsessing over every single “what-if” then I’ll have missed the whole point. And the point is that we enjoy the ride on the way to the outcome; it makes it that much sweeter to see how the Universe has plotted and planned to work for you, instead of you working against it. It’s exactly the same thing as being “in the flow.” I sometimes need to remind myself of all the things that I tell my clients which is this: I could never in a million years have planned the life I have now. It is perfect and amazing and full of love and laughter. So if I couldn’t have even planned this, what on Earth makes me think that I have any idea about how to plan what’s coming next? It’s impossible. I must simply allow myself to move through space in my own time all the while following my heart. That may sound silly, but its worked for me so far, and I’ve never been happier. In fact, I’d like to think that this process has allowed me to co-create my own miracles. And that’s just amazing.